I think in this day and age everyone knows that feminists can bake, make sandwiches and give blowjobs. That much is clear.
What still isn’t a hundred percent clear is that feminism is not about women becoming men and having to posses male qualities to become equal.
I know what feminism primarily is for me. It’s living in a world where women are accepted as women with all that being female brings. A world where women’s feminine attributes are respected in the same manner as men’s. I hate how modern day feminism is often perceived as doing everything the same as men, with the same drive and force instead of admitting that it’s ok to do it differently with an equal value. This I will repeat several times in different ways because it’s the message I want to get across.
Women were stripped of their nature. Going back in time before witch hunts, where women were accepted for their feminine qualities, being healers, mothers, compassionate and empathetic humans, embracing their intuition, their emotions and for that being respected knowing they can benefit their communities in different ways.
Instead of supporting this into modern day, women to be respected and powerful had to become men. For me feminism is needed because femininity is needed. Women work in cycles, women use emotional intelligence or empathy rather than force, strength and rational drive, but both are equally as valuable.
Feminism is not having to adjust in a world made for men. It’s accepting that women are natural caregivers, mothers, nurturers. It is knowing that you can stay at home and care for your family, knowing that you are still equal with your partner in every way. He might be doing the work that brings in the finances. You are creating a safe space to which your partner can come back to, from which he can leave for work every day, fully knowing that every basic need is taken care of. We still need feminism to prove that this work is EQUALLY as valuable and needed.
Women have been stripped of their nature, but that didn’t happen through feminism. That happened through patriarchy and women being let to believe they have to become men to be equal.
It’s not the negative side of feminism, it’s the negative side of what feminism is perceived to be.
How are women supposed to become men whilst simultaneously doing the majority of the emotional and care labour in the households, not only for their kids but also for the men that have been told all their lives that boys don’t cry? That’s right, men are victims of this patriarchal system too.
God forbid women don’t dye their grey hair or jesus christ do not wax their body hair. That means you are an unkept hippie from the cave. Beauty standards that are only imposed on women. Being objectified is not fun. Here’s a hint, if only females are expected to do something that men don’t have to do, it’s most likely sexist shit.
Women are still discriminated against, objectified, oppressed, assaulted while paying for half the rent and half your dinner with the major pay gap still in place, not asking for ANY security from men whatsoever. No thank you. THAT is not feminist.
To use Lainey Molnar’s wording. It’s not powerful to pick up the check because the truth is we are just buying our false way out of the misogynist system making it easier for men. No women are not objects to be purchased, no you don’t owe anything for dinner.
Celebrating different energies is a must, patriarchy defines men’s energies as superior and to be equal we need to have these qualities.
I say we finally start celebrating the feminine energies in the same way we celebrate men’s. We are not the same, but we are equal. In every way.