I am well aware there are women in this world who love being pregnant. Women that are in “awe of what their body can do’’. I know there are women in this world that are more beautiful when bearing children. There’s a scene in the Modern Family when Phil is looking at pregnant Gloria (Sofia Vergara) and says: ”I finally understand what they mean when they say pregnant women glow”. His wife Claire looks at him mad and says: ”I’ve had three children Phil!”
In this scenario, I am Claire. I do not glow, I am not in awe, I don’t cherish the fat on my butt because ”it’s a beautiful sign of fertility of the female body” or whatever crap I have heard over the years. Yes, there are women that can wear their pregnancy with grace, I am not one of those women. I didn’t enjoy the pregnancy first time around and you can read about it here.
However little did I know that hiking in Tasmania at five months and hiking in New Zealand at seven months and teaching yoga at the same time was actually a pretty sweet deal. So what happened this time around? We decided to make a baby and a week later, I was pregnant. I know this might sound unfair to some who are trying for months or even years, but those are probably the women who glow in their pregnancy. To me it’s unfair for a whole different reason – making them is the most fun part of this baby business. I knew I was pregnant well before the test knew. I had a few good weeks during which I actually ran the longest trail run in my life. However this blissful era was soon swapped for the usual morning sickness. That by itself would have been no problem, everyone has to go through it, but at the same time my daughter brought gastro home from kindy. One of the less appreciated gifts that kindy sent home to us. Soon the whole family had it. I am not sure how long it took to get over it, I just know it ruined our Christmas.
As soon as we were “up and running” and my nausea slowly went away, I had probably a week to recover before I started to feel really fatigued. Not like I am tired at the end of a work day fatigued, but like I cannot lift my arm and if I have to do something right now, other than lie in bed, I will cry my eyes out. I wrote about me feelings here. I couldn’t stand up without getting head spins. Soon my doctor discovered that my iron level and hemoglobin is dangerously low. I have started to take supplements, we even started to eat meat again, but it dropped even lower. The iron infusion came with charming side effects like migraine, fever and hot and cold sweats. This took about two weeks. It was a very little consolation to know that “these are very rare”. However it did start to work eventually and I felt like a whole new person. The haze has lifted and I started to see the world with new eyes. I was so happy that I wasn’t “depressed” just low on iron that when we all got the cold on my birthday I thought: who cares about stuffed up nose and a bit of fever nothing can bring me down now. Hmm I should have knocked on wood like three hundred times because exactly three weeks later I had a bit of a “sore throat” now it’s been over three weeks. I am on antibiotics with bronchitis.
I swear when this goes away, I will be so glad for the normal stuff like bruised ribs and back pain, just please please let this go away. I am grateful that I have been allowed to start working part time, otherwise given the circumstances I probably would have to quit my job completely.
Let’s look at the positive stuff too, despite ALL of this, the baby Whale is very active and looking healthy and happy. I mean as far as you can tell from the black and white sonograph. This time around we are expecting a boy and I can’t wait to hold the baby in my arms. I couldn’t help myself and I already got a few teeny tiny outfits with Australian animal print. Lately Josie has been a star toddler, her character is just so caring, fun and full of life and I am actually enjoying spending time with her. She’s looking forward to her baby brother although I don’t think she quite knows what she got herself into. This is the story thus far. Our easter was in the spirit of surviving rather than egg decorating and I really hope that I will feel better soon.
If you’d like to share some crap that you have been going through, feel free to exploit the comment section below.
P.S. Despite all of this, I am still grateful because I know things can always be worse and none of this is serious. Knock on wood.
BrnkApril 6, 2021 at 8:53 pm
terezaApril 15, 2021 at 10:05 am