Goddamnit I didn’t imagine that I would spend the last year of my twenties in quarantine. I wanted to drink coffee, read books, cancel plans and do nothing out of my own will!
Did the last few years go too fast or what? I know that thirty is the new twenty (surely some people somewhere have said it, at least some insta influencers, I would bet my morning filter on this), but it’s still kind of scary, no not scary… what’s the right word? Annoying, yes it’s just plain annoying. It has nothing to do with where I wanted to be/what I wanted to have at this age, it’s more like where the hell is my great butt and why god oh why am I getting sun spots and that in between the eyebrows wrinkle? I was aware of this wrinkle at an early age. I still remember this conversation with my best friend:
Me: “I am worried about my in between the eyebrows wrinkle.”
Her: “Like she won’t go to college or what?”
Despite all the necessary precautions like staying away from the sun, moisturising, adopting the resting bitch face, always wearing sunglasses, that sneaky frown line still made an appearance.
Jokes aside, things are getting serious when you are nearing thirty. (I can already see my fifty year old self laughing at this, nearly spilling my afternoon whisky somewhere in the future.)
In this past year I have had so many real adult experiences, (yet somehow the teenager within still laughed at the phrase “adult experience”), like picking up my child from kinder-garden, leaving the office on time so I could pick up my child from kinder-garden…I know it sounds like the same thing, but honestly those were two very different feelings and emotions. We also started a long distance house renovation. I can now say grown up things like: We are just putting up the roof. Or: The architects have completed the study, do you want to see it?
My absolute favourite thing that came with adulting is the good quality of sustenance. I am so happy that we drink the good wine, the good coffee, the good whiskey and eat all the good food. Mind you, I don’t think I could handle a shitty wine hangover anymore. I need to function at 5AM most days, some days at 4.40AM and some blissful, scarce and wonderful mornings, I don’t have to open my eyes until 5.30AM. Aaah motherhood. So when choosing to go for a run or do nothing during the first nap time, it takes ALL the will and effort to put the sneakers on. I did it today though. My knee hurt a little. I am now that person who runs on that grassy patch to alleviate the impact on the concrete. I know, I know to be concerned with vanity and ageing in the time of corona. However if I can’t make fun of things anymore, that’s when there’s no point in living. I wake up every day knowing very well that I have no real problems in life, I appreciate it by being a compassionate and hopefully a kind person to those around me.
I was supposed to be at a yoga retreat right now with Dominika. For the first time since Josefina was born, I was supposed to have four days just to myself. I remember that even when I was at uni writing my dissertation and studying for my finals, training for a half marathon, working night shifts and fundraising for Childreach, I still had a day every now and then that was just for me and for my books. I really miss those recharge days.
Gold Coast is the perfect place to raise a child in, the weather is awesome all the time, you barely have to dress them, the veggies and fruit is always fresh and in abundance and there’s a ridiculous amount of young mums that you can hang out with. However being so far away from family sucks in this instance. I would love to just drop Josie off at grandma’s for the weekend. Don’t ever underestimate the value of having people you can trust around you. I think that’s the one downside of living in Australia. It’s all fun and games when you are just a rebel twenty-five year old, but at twenty-nine, it’s serious business. I am kidding of course, but having a kid sure does change things from that perspective.
Despite the situation in the world (and the politics in homeland), I am actually going through a really blissful time in my life. Josie is so much more fun now that she’s progressed to toddler level. Lukas is working from home and we are like the best family unit I know. I know it is taking a worldwide toll, but when are you going to get this time to truly bond with the ones closest to you? We are taking it as a fantastic opportunity to talk, take walks, spend time on the beach, drink more than we should, plan the future and more adult experiences hahahaha. Lukas also completed a great deal of DYI and just proved to me even more that I chose the right mate for life. We will probably have to postpone our wedding, which sucks, but thanks to quarantine drinking and no yoga routine, I probably won’t fit my wedding dress anymore so just as well. I am hope everyone is staying safe.